[men&women] New Communication Skills for women!

New Communication Skills for women!

To ensure the best communication in a relationship both men and women can begin applying new skills. An easy way for women to remember what is required of them is to remember the four Ps: pausing, preparing, postponing, and persisting.

In a similar way, men can remember the four Ds: ducking, dodging, disarming, and delivering. A relationship will be easiest when both are doing their best.

1. Pause

- Check it out. Ask him if this is a good time.
- Don't interrupt him if you know he is in the cave.

2. Prepare

- Set a time limit. Tell him how long it will take. When a man doesn't know where the conversation is going, he begins to panic. When he knows there is a time limit, then he can relax.
- Give him a clear job decription. Tell him that he doesn't have to say anything or make other supportive comments.
- Encourage him. Ocaasinally remind him that he is not being blamed or that you understand it is hard to listen.
- Appreciate him. Each time when you are finished talking, let him know that you really appreciate his listening and that you feel much better because of is support.

3. Postpone

- When he is in his cave, postpone sharing your needs for another time when he is more available and able to give.
- Put off expecting him to do more until he has become proficient in listening more to feelings, then begin to ask for more physical help in small increments.

4. Persist

- Continue giving him the support he needs to support you. Don't  expect him to always remember.
- When he resists conversation, persist in asking him to listen even if he has litle or nothing to say.
- Overcome the tendency to give in and not communicate with him. Patiently persist in practicing these skills.

John Gray, Ph.D.[Mars and Venus Together Forever]